07 Mar When a spouse ignores family finances

Q. My wife never pays attention to our investments. I can’t seem to get her interested, but I know someday she may have to do it alone. What can I do?
— Worried

A. Yours is a common problem. In many families, one spouse takes care of the finances and sometimes, the other spouse doesn’t participate at all.

It’s a huge problem when the spouse who hasn’t been managing the finances has to do it alone someday. While dealing with the loss of a spouse, money is the last thing that should add to that person’s worries.

But there are ways to get your spouse interested, or at least, involved.

One option is to meet with a financial planner who will work with both of you now, said Amanda Lott, a certified financial planner with RegentAtlantic in Morristown.

Then you should have time to make sure your wife is comfortable with the advisor who she may need to work with alone in the future, Lott said.

“A financial planner who is focused on creating a long-term financial plan to help you meet yours and your wife’s goals, and not solely focused on investments, may be more appetizing to your wife and help engage her with your collective personal finances,” Lott said.

Lott said a planner can find out what is most important to your wife, which may be very different from “pick the latest and greatest stocks,” and can work to develop a plan to help accomplish those goals.

“Remember to manage your own expectations – your wife is likely not going to take over all of your finances overnight,” Lott said. “But if you’re working with the right professional who can gradually help your wife become more engaged over time, that would be a step in the right direction.”

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This story was first posted in March 2019.