16 May How can I convince my daughter to live at home after college?

Q. My daughter is graduating from college and she is hell-bent on having her own apartment instead of moving back home. She will have a full-time job not far from home, so she can probably afford it, but I would rather see her save her money now — while she has an opportunity to — so what can I do to get her to change her mind?
— Dad

A. Congratulations to you and your student.

We get how hard it can be to allow a young adult to follow their plan, even if the plan isn’t exactly what you’d recommend.

If she can afford it, then you might not have too much leverage, said Jody D’Agostini, a certified financial planner with The Falcon Financial Group in Morristown.

But you can still help her with some math.

First, start her off with an expense sheet so that she considers all expenses for living independently, D’Agostini said.

This would include the rent, renter’s insurance, healthcare, food, internet, cable, transportation, etc. It might also include any college debt that might be due, she said.

“This is a suitable time to educate her on fixed expenses which are those that need to be paid or the necessities,” D’Agostini said.

Next, consider her discretionary expenses, which are the “wants.” Those are eating out, entertainment, etc.

Then make sure that her net cash flow after taxes supports the spending.

“It should allow her some discretionary income to establish an emergency fund, and to save for her other goals such as retirement and saving to purchase a future home,” she said. “You can help her focus on the bigger picture, and some longer-term goals which might now be so obvious to those yearning for independence.”

“Even a year or less of savings can be a game changer in establishing yourself on a firm financial footing,” D’Agostini said.

Email your questions to Ask@NJMoneyHelp.com.

This story was originally published in May 2025.

NJMoneyHelp.com presents certain general financial planning principles and advice, but should never be viewed as a substitute for obtaining advice from a personal professional advisor who understands your unique individual circumstances.