01 Jan My parents are getting divorced. Should they still live together?

Q. My parents are getting a divorce. They are 74 and 72. They really can’t afford to live in separate houses. Do divorced people stay living together sometimes? Or should I tell them to sell the house and split the small amount of equity they have, and then rent?
— Trying to help

A. We’re sorry to hear about your parents.

As is often the case in law, the answer? It depends.

When it comes to living arrangements during and after divorce, there is no right or wrong approach, said Thomas Roberto, a family law attorney with Adinolfi, Roberto, Burick & Molotsky in Mount Laurel.

The “right” approach is the one that works best for both parties and their family.

“Continuing to cohabitate post-divorce is impractical — if not impossible — for most people for a plethora of reasons unique to each couple,” he said. “There are of course some benefits, mostly financial. Residing together post-divorce is generally far more cost efficient, whether you are just getting by or saving for a new future.”

If you’re living paycheck to paycheck as a married couple, living alone and being entirely self-supporting may be an insurmountable challenge, he said. But, for many, the cons of living together post-divorce often outweigh the pros, Roberto said.

It’s about more than the money.

“If you have gone through divorce, then you likely already know that living with your former spouse simply ‘doesn’t work,’” he said. “Financial benefits have to be weighed against the emotional drain that can come with continuing to live with someone with whom a relationship is no longer viable.”

Staying together after divorce can make it difficult to move on and start fresh, he said.

Maintaining privacy and establishing appropriate boundaries, particularly after a long-term marriage, is another issue, he said.

“The potential for new significant others to be introduced into the shared living arrangement can also be a major source of conflict,” he said. “If children are involved, the potential for exposing them to a combative — in some cases toxic — relationship between parents is enough reason for many to not even entertain the idea.”

But in the end, it’s up to the couple to make the decision based on their specific circumstances, he said.

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This story was originally published in January 2024.

NJMoneyHelp.com presents certain general financial planning principles and advice, but should never be viewed as a substitute for obtaining advice from a personal professional advisor who understands your unique individual circumstances.