13 Feb Giving money advice to family

Q. My adult kids want me to manage their retirement savings for them, but they don’t want to give me their passwords to make changes to their accounts. That’s fine, but they always “forget” to make the changes I recommend. I’m just trying to help. Any ideas?
— Dad

A. Money and family is often a sticky mix.

And as you see, it’s often frustrating.

It sounds as if you’re in a tight spot. Why would they bother to ask for help but then ignore your recommendations?

“Sounds like some clients I have dealt with over the last 25 years,” said Bill Connington of Connington Wealth Management in Paramus.”They come to you for help and then do not do what you suggest and wonder why things haven’t changed.”

Connington said one strategy would be to show them where their portfolios are today and then where they could have been based on your recommendations — assuming your recommendations would have worked out well.

Another idea would be to write out the suggested changes and then sit with them while they go online and make the moves.

“This way it gets done and you don’t have to have access to their passwords,” Connington said. “Other than that, you seem to be stuck in the old adage of ‘You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.'”

It’s also possible they’d fare better with someone who isn’t family, so invite them to have a free money makeover with NJMoneyHelp.com.

Email your questions to .

This post was first published in February 2017.