10 Mar My husband won’t make an estate plan. What can I do?

Q. I’m looking for guidance on where to start with planning in case something happens to me or my husband. We are recently married and have a 8-month-old baby. My husband has three children with his first wife. He has assets and family wealth he will likely inherit. He insisted on a prenup with me relinquishing my rights to it and he said he would get life insurance with me as the beneficiary. Unfortunately he now doesn’t seem to want to secure said policy, nor does he even want to talk about a will or make an estate plan. Aside from this disappointment, I want to make sure there is a plan in place for my son. What can I do on my own to set things up for my son? Should I make my own plan?
— Worried new mom

A. We’re sorry to hear that your husband isn’t interested in having this conversation.

It’s such an important topic.

We get that your husband wants to provide for his children from his first marriage, and it’s a shame if he’s not treating this current marriage the same way. Second marriages can get messy when it comes to estate plans.

It is certainly understandable that you would want to take all reasonable and necessary steps to financially provide for your newborn son in the event of your untimely passing, said Jeralyn Lawrence, a family law attorney with Lawrence Law in Watchung.

Even if your husband doesn’t help, there are steps you can take.

She said short of having estate documents prepared by an experienced wills, trusts and estates attorney, she often suggests that clients secure life insurance policies, naming the child or children as beneficiary, and naming a trustee. The trustee would stand in a fiduciary relationship with the beneficiary and assure that he or she receives the benefit of the policy.

“A life insurance policy is considered a non-probate asset, which means that your beneficiary can receive the proceeds from the policy faster than if they had to wait for your estate to be settled through a probate court,” Lawrence said.

She said with the assistance of an experienced attorney, you could also have a will drafted, something that’s recommended whether or not you buy an insurance policy.

“A will provides direction for what happens after you pass away, and can distribute your property to your loved ones, name an executor to handle your affairs, name a guardian for your child(ren), and succinctly lay out your wishes for your family and acquaintances,” she said.

It may also be beneficial to establish a trust or other estate planning tools to distribute your property, she said. Exploring these options early in your son’s life might make you feel more prepared for your future, and more secure with the circumstances you face in your marriage, she said.

In terms of your prenup, if you have specific questions about the language, you should speak with an experienced attorney.

And one more thing to consider: If you tell your husband that you have an appointment with an estate planning attorney for yourself, he just might decide to come.

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This story was originally published on March 10, 2022.

NJMoneyHelp.com presents certain general financial planning principles and advice, but should never be viewed as a substitute for obtaining advice from a personal professional advisor who understands your unique individual circumstances.