12 Jul Is my wife risking her credit by helping our adult son?

Q. My wife and I, both retired for 8 years, are comfortable and debt free with no financial skeletons in our closet. Our 38-year-old son, after his divorce, is unemployed and living in our basement. He has a boatload of consumer and medical debt, and several collection agencies in pursuit. My wife is joint owner of a small checking account with him in a local brick and mortar bank; she joined with him in this account with the hope of reining in his recklessness with money. My question: Is she risking her own financial security by co-owning his account? Is it too late to “divorce” her name from his?
— Disappointed dad

A. We’re glad you have a debt-free retirement.

But we know the idea of helping adult children, while honorable, can lead to trouble.

Indeed, as a parent, it can be hard not to step in when a child, even a grown one, finds themselves in financial hot water, said Claudia Mott, a certified financial planner with Epona Financial Solutions in Basking Ridge.

She said there might be some potential risk associated with the joint account but that will likely depend on what happens with the creditors.

A joint account is generally considered to belong to both owners, Mott said. Each owner has full authority to withdraw all of the money and they are jointly responsible for any overdrafts or fees.

“Your wife does not have any responsibility for his debts just because she is a joint owner of a checking account,” Mott said. “But, if a creditor obtains a judgment against your son, the joint account could potentially be frozen or levied, depending on your state’s laws. Your wife might eventually be able to prove that some or all of the money is hers, but that can require time, documentation, and legal effort.”

Medical providers and credit card companies generally cannot simply take money from a bank account because someone is behind on payments, Mott said. To be able to access these assets they must obtain a judgement against your son to seek collection and levy the accounts.

Mott said your wife should be able to remove herself from the account and should speak to the bank about their specific process. Some banks will remove a joint owner while others require a new individual account be created with a transfer of funds, she said. It is likely that both your wife and your son will need to sign the documents related to the account change.

If you are looking for ways to help your son with his financial challenges, Mott offered two ideas.

Call the credit card companies.

“Creditors may offer a hardship plan by lowering the interest rate, waiving fees or creating a payment plan,” she said. “You might also be able to negotiate a payoff or debt settlement that would reduce the amount he owes. If you are successful, insist on receiving a written agreement that spells out the details of the plan.”

Contact a non-profit credit counseling organization.

“These organizations help consumers with debt management plans,” Mott said. “These companies will not negotiate to lower the balance that you owe, but they will work on lowering interest rates and work on repayment plans with creditors.”

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This story was originally published in July 2026. 

NJMoneyHelp.com presents certain general financial planning principles and advice, but should never be viewed as a substitute for obtaining advice from a personal professional advisor who understands your unique individual circumstances.