14 Feb My daughter is always asking for money. Should she file for bankruptcy?

Q. Bankruptcy always seemed like such an extreme choice to make. My daughter, married and 35 with two kids, is always asking me to borrow money so they can pay their bills. She says they just don’t earn enough. I don’t know if they spend too much on non-necessities but I’m getting tired of this. Should I recommend bankruptcy?
— Mom

A. You’re correct that bankruptcy isn’t a small move.

It’s something to take very seriously.

But should you be the one giving that advice?

No, said Karina Lucid, a bankruptcy attorney with Lucid Law in Bridgewater.

“When people ask if they should recommend bankruptcy to someone, I say no. Emphatically,” she said. “To be very clear, I am not saying that you should tell them not to file for bankruptcy. What I am saying is that it is what they need is professional advice; it is not something to take lightly and it is not for family to recommend or to condemn.”

She said if you have someone you care about who seems to be facing financial difficulties, you should recommend that they speak to a bankruptcy attorney. Let them decide if a bankruptcy is really appropriate or not.

“When a loved one is having financial troubles, they often are so embarrassed that the best we can do is help them know they are supported and cared about,” she said. “Giving them a referral to speak with a professional to find out their options accomplishes several important things.”

First, Lucid said, you are directing them to someone who can help educate them.

Second, you are not accidentally giving them incorrect advice because you are leaving the advice-giving to the professional, she said.

“Finally, you are offering them help instead of telling them what to do and that way they do not feel judged, but rather supported,” Lucid said.

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This story was originally published on Feb. 14, 2023.

NJMoneyHelp.com presents certain general financial planning principles and advice, but should never be viewed as a substitute for obtaining advice from a personal professional advisor who understands your unique individual circumstances.