08 May Should I give my daughter money to save her mortgage?

Q. My daughter and her husband are $17,000 behind on their mortgage. The mortgage is in his name only but the deed is in both of their names. The mortgage company wants to do a modification. If I help with the money, is there a way to create a legal document that says I get paid back if they sell the house, and if they divorce, that I get paid back from his half or the money I give them goes to my daughter?
— Mom

A. We see that protecting your daughter is your priority.

We can’t blame for you for that.

You can loan funds to your daughter and her husband and secure it with a promissory note together with a second mortgage — second to the mortgage company assuming there is no prohibition on a second lien — including a repayment term upon sale of the home, said Catherine Romania, an estate planning attorney with Witman Stadtmauer in Florham Park.

Unfortunately, such repayment is not guaranteed at the time of sale — without additional steps which may include litigation — if the sale of the home does not produce sufficient funds to permit repayment, she said.

Repayment upon divorce from your son-in-law rather than your daughter can also be an additional term if he agrees, she said, but it is likely more difficult to enforce if your son-in-law does not honor the agreement as you are not a party to the divorce of your daughter and son-in-law.

“Your daughter would have to request the payment of the note and/or lien on the marital home,” Romania said. “Because judges in the family court have great discretion in allocating assets and liabilities, and because the family courts tend to be backlogged, repayment as described may be slow to materialize or may not be permitted by the court.”

For the greatest protection, she recommends that both you and your son-in-law be represented by separate legal counsel so that all of the issues can be clearly addressed in the writing and your son-in-law cannot later successfully claim he did not understand the agreement, Romania said.

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This story was originally published in May 2026. 

NJMoneyHelp.com presents certain general financial planning principles and advice, but should never be viewed as a substitute for obtaining advice from a personal professional advisor who understands your unique individual circumstances.